The pocket pissing has ended

Australian Open champion, Tim Clark has ignored the potential impact of global warming and has done some rather large deforestation of his own by clearing out Woods from the World Matchplay Championship. The 4 and 2 win over Tiger ensured Channel 10 HD could cut to "9am with David and Kim" at 10am without feeling the wrath of Aussie Golfer and a weekend free of the sort of pocket pissing normally reserved for an Ottoman Emperor's coronation.

As far as the Aussies go, we have one left. Geoff Ogilvy scraped home against Shingo Katayama. Shingo must have thought "Bingo!" after going 2 up with four holes to play but conceded the 16th, 18th and 19th in a minor implosion. Ogilvy got lucky and needs to lift his game coming up against a red hot Camilo Villegas tomorrow. Villegas played terribly in Australia last week. Hey! Wha' happened!?

Rules of Golf: Wrong Green Answer

Aussie Golfer raised the topic of playing a ball onto the wrong putting green. Can you play from the wrong putting green?

No. If you do it will be a 2-shot penalty in stroke play or loss of hole in match play.

According to Rule 25-3 the ball must be dropped within one club length of the nearest point of relief. Not nearer the hole and without penalty. This only applies if the ball is on the green, not if a players stance are on the wrong green. Now that metal spikes are outlawed I suppose it's not a big deal if a player twists during his golf shot on a green.

There is one nice thing to remember. Before taking a drop, you can clean your ball! I'll rephrase that, your playing partner who hit the errant shot in the first place may clean his or her ball before dropping.

See the Rules of Golf at the R&A for more details.

Pass me a bottle Mr.Jones

The performance by the Aussies this morning was enough to make you want to turn to the drink with only 2 of the 8 Australian golfers winning their matches. The performance of our local broadcaster Channel 10, didn't help matters much either.

The performace of the day came from Mathew Goggin scoring one of the upsets of the day defeating Kenny Perry who has been in some fine form. Geoff Ogilvy was the other winner winning with a par on the 19th against Kevin Sutherland. Ogilvy led by 2 with 2 to play only to be pegged back.

Stuart Appleby has now been knocked out in the first round 7 times but all eyes were on Brendan Jones, well on his playing partner anyway. Jones played solidly enough but was a little nervyand against Woods, you really can't make any bogeys. His eagle on 15 was pretty awesome after Tiger had put his close but after that I relied on the internet for the updates.

It was then that Channel 10 HD had seen enough and switched to their regular programs. Absolutely terrible. Channel 10 now have two stations and it seems it's just not enough in order to keep the golf going if it runs overtime on a Thursday morning. Seriously Ten!

Australian Results:
Mathew Goggin (55) v Kenny Perry (10) won 2 and 1
Geoff Ogilvy (8) v Kevin Sutherland (57) won on 19th
Brendan Jones (64) v Tiger Woods (1) lost 3 and 2
Adam Scott (18) v Sean O'Hair (47) lost 1 down
Robert Allenby (30) v Ross Fisher (35) lost 1 down
Aaron Baddeley (42) v Paul Casey (23) lost 1 down
Stuart Appleby (46) v Martin Kaymer (19) lost 1 down
Rod Pampling (56) v Camilo Villegas (9) lost 7 and 6

Next up:
Mathew Goggin (55) v Paul Casey (23)
Geoff Ogilvy (8) v Shingo Katayama (40)

WGC Matchplay live scoring through PGA Tour.

An extraordinary golf shot

Golf Punk (a great golf magazine, sadly unavailable in Australia) published this golf video recently. Aussie Golfer just had to post it as well. Here, David Feherty talks about his encounter with Ernie Els, a microphone and a great golf shot by Tiger Woods.

Golf this week

Two tournaments to keep an eye on this weekend. A big one across the Pacific and a smaller one in Australia.

The first is the World (but always played in the US) Golf Championship event in the form of the Accenture Matchplay Championship in Arizona. The world's top 64 players compete and eight Australians are playing, 12.5% of the field. The first big match-up the world is watching is Brendan Jones (64th in the world) against Tiger Woods (1).

The other first round match-up's for the Aussies are:
Geoff Ogilvy (8) v Kevin Sutherland (57)
Adam Scott (18) v Sean O'Hair (47)
Robert Allenby (30) v Ross Fisher (35)
Aaron Baddeley (42) v Paul Casey (23)
Stuart Appleby (46) v Martin Kaymer (19)
Rod Pampling (56) v Camilo Villegas (9)
Mathew Goggin (55) v Kenny Perry (10)

The PGA Tour website has a nice WGC pdf of the full bracket if you'd like to follow along at home with the family. TV coverage: Ten HD - Thurs, Fri, Sat 6 - 10am. Sun, Mon 2 - 10am.

The co-sanctioned Nationwide Tour Moonah Links Classic is also on this weekend at Moonah Links, Victoria. There's a good field with plenty of ex-PGA Tour players (Craig Parry, Stephen Leaney, Skip Kendall, Nick Flanagan) in the mix ,as well as Johnnie Walker Classic champion and rising golf superstar, Danny Lee. Full details and live Moonah Classic leaderboard.

Lacey Underall interview

The Bushwood Country Club website posted a nice interview with Cindy Morgan, the actress who played Lacey Underall in Caddychack (correct spelling according to IMDB and her own websites). She's only recently got the golf bug.

Rules of Golf: Wrong Green

What happens if you hit your ball onto the wrong green? Don't get me wrong. I can't imagine that any Aussie Golfer readers would ever find themselves in this situation but we should know the rules in case any of our playing partners do.

What is the ruling?
What if the ball is off the green but a players stance is not?
What happens if the player chooses to play from the wrong green?

Answers.

Danny Lee wins Johnnie Walker Classic

The last time New Zealand teenager Danny Lee was in Australia he won the best dressed golfer and the winning amateur at the Australian Open last December. This time in the country he's won something even more special, the Johnnie Walker Classic.

Lee birdied the last two holes, after almost eagle-ing (is that a word?) the last, to win by a stroke. The youngest player to ever win on the Euro Tour and only the second amateur to do so. He gave a nice little speech. Very gracious, very professional. He will turn professional after the US Masters in April.

Man, this kid is amazing. It's not profound to say so. We heard him coming when he won last years US Amateur Championship at a younger age than when Tiger Woods won it. There's been so much said about whether Camilo Villegas, Anthony Kim or any other young gun can challenge of even be the next Tiger Woods. Lee could be in the mix much faster than expected.

P.S. When Lee almost eagled 18, the microphones weren't anywhere near the crowd. No crowd atmosphere could be heard or felt in what was clearly a very exciting moment. Renton Laidlaw saying "Ooooh!", just doesn't cut it for exciting golf coverage.

Golf joke: The ball you can't lose

Bob and Tom both like to golf.

One day Bob said to Tom, "Hey look at this ball!"

Tom replied, "What's so great about it?"

Bob said, "Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float. This ball is impossible to lose!"

"Wow!", said Tom, "Where did you get that from?"

Bob replied, "I found it."

Other golf jokes:
Mother Superior
Love on the course
Golf terms
The ball you can't lose
Using the new ball
Deserted island
Cow encounter

Woods returns, Jones awaits

Tiger Woods will return from injury at the Accenture Matchplay Championship next week, the first of 2009's World (but only played in America) Golf Championships. It's great for golf, it's great for spectators, it's great for television, it's great for everything and everyone except for Australian Brendan Jones.

Brendan Jones (pictured) sits at number 64 in the world and will be matched against Woods provided no one pulls out between now and the start of the tournament. At first glance this may seem like a worry for Jones but there's a few positives for him to think about.

• Woods may be suspect coming off an injury. Possibly. Just maybe.
• The exposure will be amazing. Playing mostly on the Japan Tour, Jones finished with five Top 10 finishes last year and will be on stage in the most anticipated comeback in golf.
• Woods is shaky against Australians at this event. Peter O'Malley beat him in 2002 and Nick O'Hern has tossed him aside in 2005 and 2007.
  

So perhaps it seems Woods should be worried! Even if someone drops out of the event this week, an Australian will replace him, Richard Green.

*Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Monty and the custard

With Colin Montgomerie in the country for the Johnnie Walker Classic it seems as good a time as any to relay this fine story Steve Elkington told Golf Digest a few years ago:

"That would be the 1995 World Match Play at Wentworth. I had beaten him in a playoff for the PGA Championship at Riviera a couple months earlier, so when we got paired in the second round, it was being built up over there as a rematch, a chance for him to gain revenge.

Anyway, we're having lunch in the clubhouse there, which is a castle. Lisa and I are eating a little sandwich off in the corner. Monty has maybe 25 people at his table, royalty and all, with a fabulous buffet. Part of the spread is this huge custard castle, a replica of the one we're eating in.

So Monty gets up and goes toward the custard, and he wiped out the whole west side of the clubhouse, an entire custard wing including maybe part of the locker room. I think to myself, Isn't that nice of Monty, scooping up all that custard for all those people at his table to share?

Well, damned if he doesn't sit down and eat the whole thing himself. I turned to Lisa and said, "There ain't a man alive who can eat that much custard and beat me." I won, 2 and 1."

Live Scores: Johnnie Walker Classic

As the Johnnie Walker Classic is part of the European Tour this week, the live scores can be accessed through Euro Tour website.

Anthony Kim's caddie sent home

Anthony Kim's had to arrive in Australia on Monday without his caddie Eric Larson. Anthony Kim seemed to be a little in the dark as to what happened, "I don't know much about what's going on. He had some things in Florida he needed to take care of.". His caddie was allegedly denied entry into the country after failing to declare a criminal record in the United States.

Peter Stone's article in the Sydney Morning Herald has all the details including Larson's involvement in a cocaine ring while carrying the bag for Mark Calcavecchia who visited him in every one of the five prison's he served his time in.

Kim now has an Australian on the bag for the Johnnie Walker Classic this weekend who prepares yardage books for caddies on the European Tour. He plays the first round with Richard Green and Colin "don't eat all the breakfast buffet" Montgomerie today, teeing off at 12:30pm WA time.

Related Story:
Johnnie Walker Classic preview
The Vines Course Review

Countries with most golf courses per capita

Golf Digest compiled a list of all the world's golf courses in 2007 and came up with some interesting facts about the modern game. This list has always intrigued Aussie Golfer, countries with the most golf courses per capita.

1. Scotland (9,379 people per course)
2. New Zealand (10,374)
3. Australia (11,063)
4. Republic of Ireland (14,127)
5. Northern Ireland (14,353)
6. Canada (15,480)
7. Wales (18,321)
8. United States (18,514)
9. Sweden (21,295)
10. England (27,725).

(countries with fewer than 500,000 people were excluded).

My biggest reaction to this list is that many countries here have a lot of sheep in them. Maybe read the list upside down for golf courses per sheep.

Johnnie Walker Classic

The European Tour's Johnnie Walker Classic returns to The Vines in Perth this year and has one of the best fields ever to grace Australian shores.

Now, all those people that were skeptical about the quality of the fields at the big Australian events before Christmas (showing some golf ignorance) check out some of the names for this event starting on this Thursday.

Greg Norman, Lee Westwood, Richard Green, Camilo Villegas, Ian Poulter, Paul Casey, David Howell, Colin Montgomerie, Anthony Kim and Niclas Fasth.

It's going to be a great event and WA Today website has set up a nice looking page for the event. It's a pity all the big Australian newspapers didn't jump on board the events like this.

Look out for Spiderman, The Shark's return (Jaws II), the great Mark Statters on the bag for Brad Kennedy, Monty madness and a belt buckle the size of the Anthony Kim's ego.

TV coverage
Thurs, Fri 2:30 - 7pm: Channel 10 HD
Sat, Sun 12 - 5pm: Channel 10 HD and regular, vanilla Channel 10.

Weekend tee times in Perth have been brought forward to appease Eastern State viewers. Probably better for the Euro viewers too.

Golfers contribute to bushfire appeal

A few readers have been wondering how the professional golf community have contributed to the Australian Bushfire Appeal. Many contributers donate anonymously but there's been a concerted effort over the past weeks, particularly involving the big tournaments being held at the moment.

• Craig Parry and Nick O'Hern will donate $200,000 each to the Victorian Bushfire Appeal.
• Laura Davies donated her cheque from the NZ Open.
• Many donation buckets were on course at the weekend's Women's Australian Open, all Sunday's gate takings and $5 for each birdie made were donated. The tournament organising body is matching all player donations.
• The Victorian Golf Association is asking clubs throughout Australia to dedicate their club compettitions for one week during February or March to a special fundraising appeal for bushfire relief.
• Greg Norman is competing in a celebrity tournament tomorrow at The Vines Resort to raise money for bushfire victims. Perth readers get on down to the tournament. Free entry, donations for parking are requested.
  

Laura Davies wins Australian Open

Laura Davies told organisers of the New Zealand Open to give her pay cheque to the Victorian Bushfire Appeal. Some may say good karma came back to her today when she won her second Australian Open title in tough circumstances.

She had one hand on the trophy when she eagled 14 but Aussie Golfer thought her birdie on 15 was even more impressive. The pitch to a metre to set up the putt was superb and something we should all aim to emulate. After bogey's on 16 and 18 it appeared she'd blown it as young Spaniard Tania Elosegui needed only a par on the last to ensure victory but a wayward second into a greenside bunker, an average shot out and three putts handed the title to Davies.

Laura Davies has won four majors, her last in 1996 and she finished 95th on the LPGA money list last year, her worst since 1988. One might be forgiven for thinking she was on her way out of the game and set to take her place in the commentary box. Not so. Davies still believes she can regain her form to step back into the world's Top 10. Today's win is a nice step along the way.

P.S. Nice to see Jan Stephenson in the commentary box on the ABC coverage on the weekend!

Golf joke: Deserted island

My father-in-law used to tell this one and fast became my favourite golf joke.

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve or her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink.
"'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked,
"And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,
"Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"

Other golf jokes:
Mother Superior
Love on the course
Golf terms
The ball you can't lose
Using the new ball
Deserted island
Cow encounter

Women's Australian Open Live Leaderboard

Here is the link to the Women's Australian Open live leaderboard as promised for those looking for not only the scores but a whole range of statistics forthis weekend's big tournament. The Australian Open website has all the latest news including the birdies for cash initiative to help raise money for the Victorian Bushfire victims.

Related Stories
Women's Australian Open preview
Australian Women's Golf 2009
2008 LPGA Tour wrap

2009 Women's Australian Open

The 2009 Women's Australian Open tees off tomorrow at The Metropolitan Golf Course in Melbourne. Thankfully, the temperatures that have caused so much catastrophe across Victoria last weekend have subsided somewhat but the Metropolitan will be a real tough test.

Karrie Webb took out this tournament in a playoff last year and one can never rule her out in any tournament but her form isn't fantastic just at the moment. Tamie Durdin was excellent last week and Gwladys Nocera played some great golf to follow up her win in the New Zealand Open.

It's a little disappointing not to see world number 5, Shin Ji-Yai in the field this week after finishing 8th last week despite spending a few hours in hospital during last week's tournament due to food poisoning. We really didn't see the best of her.

Sarah Kemp's form is pretty hot at the moment but Aussie Golfer just can't see Katherine Hull being beaten again this weekend.

All the information is over at the Women's Australian Open website and I'll add a link to the live scoreboard as soon as it appears.

Erratum: Shin Ji-Yai did not suffer from food poisoning last weekend. She spent some hours in hospital due to numbness in her hands. Yani Tseng suffered from food poisoning during the tournament. Thanks to The Constructivist over at Mostly Harmless blog for pointing this out.

Course Review: The Vines

The European Tour's Johnnie Walker Classic returns to The Vines Golf Resort in Perth next week and Aussie Golfer's Western Australian correspondent, Piers Lewis gives us a review of the course the Sandgroper's love. Let's hope the pro's are reading and give the buffet breakfast a miss.

Ratings (out of 10)
Course difficulty: 6
Course rating: 8.5
Timeliness : 6
Value: 7
Amenities: 7
19th : 8
Food: 4
Overall: 7

Overview:

The Vines has been one of the top courses in WA for some time, and continues to provide an excellent course at reasonably expensive prices, but most importantly you don’t feel ripped off when you leave. Although losing the Heineken Vines Classic many years ago to those thieving Victorians, it has snared the 2009 Johnnie Walker Classic in February, so it can claim to be part of the international calendar once again.

And that is good news for West Aussies, as international golf tournaments are good for youngsters wanting to make it in the world of golf. Actually, saying that, the Vines Classic is where I gave up all hope of being a golf pro at the ripe old age of only 14. Following around the then biggest draw card in golf, John Daly, I was a little disappointed that he had decided to leave the driver in the bag that year.

He still hit his 2 iron about 50 yards longer than Norman (and apparently drunk the Vines out of all Crown Lager). While following John around, he put his 2 iron on the 14th into a fairway bunker around 140m out from the green. Not only that, the green was blocked by a big mother of a tree. Long John then proceeded to punch an iron out of the bunker, fading around the tree and rolling it between two green side bunkers to within 40 feet of the hole. I was in awe. What a shot. Daly then threw his club back at his caddy and was visibly upset that he had left it short. So I decided right then and there that if that shot was not a good shot for the pros, then I’d better concentrate on my tertiary studies.

The Vines is available to the public as it is attached to The Novotel Vines Resort. At $89 for a round it isn’t cheap, but that includes an electric buggy which is a necessity around the 36 holes on offer. Both the Lakes and the Ellenbrook course are top quality, being rated 5th and 18th best resort courses in Australia in 2007, according to Golf Australia Magazine. The Lakes being the better course as the final 3 holes which must go close as the best closing sequence in the world. Ellenbrook is a solid lay out with a variety of challenges.

The Ellenbrook course was not particularly long, but the rough is unforgiving. Any wayward drives, if they are lucky enough to avoid the numerous water hazards or bunkers, are unlikely to be seen again as bush and shrubs are thick and prickly (and it just feels like snake territory, even if it isn’t). There are bunkers everywhere and extraordinarily well placed, and no silly “middle of the fairway” types either. Good.

The speed and size of the greens are usually what make the Vines so tough. It was the first course that I played on that had lightning quick greens, but when reviewed they were reasonably slow due to sanding recently, hence the lowish difficulty factor. Usually it would be a 7.5 I’d say.

Overall it is a great set up. The hotel is top class, although I didn’t see these young ladies when I was there.

Highlights:
The layout
The closing 3 holes of the Lakes.

Resort is excellent, with the surrounding Swan Valley great for wine tours if you like a drop of vino.

Lowlights:

Food – my buffet breakfast was horrible. I love my buffet breakfasts like any other good golfer does, but this as really disappointing. I will blame my stonking hangover, but it should have made it easier.
Ellenbrook is a continuous 18, therefore no nice lunch after 9.

*Photos courtesy of The Vines website

More reviews:
The Tap Inn, Adelaide, SA
Bonville GC, Coffs Harbour, NSW
Lake Claremont GC, Perth, WA
The Vintage, Hunter Valley, NSW
Werribee Park GC, Melbourne, Vic
Lake Karrinyup Country Club, Perth, WA
Glenmore Heritage Valley, NSW
The Vines, Perth, WA
Mt.Lofty GC, SA
Gerringong GC, NSW

Australian Bushfire Appeal

The Victorian bushfires have been too great a tragedy not to mention or act upon. They have ravaged many Victorian towns and police fear the death toll may rise to 300. Many have lost their homes, their friends, their families.

Click the image on the right if you'd like to donate and help the victims of the Victorian bushfires via the Australian Red Cross.

Tiger Woods is a father again

If you're a golf nut and not living in a wombat hole, you will have heard that Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren has given birth to a son, Charlie Axel Woods. This makes it child number two for the Woods household which is starting to resemble more of a forest.

What many don't know is that when Charlie grows up, he's decided to follow in his mother's footsteps and become a model.

Golf Baby video

This years E*Trade Superbowl Ad.

Australia to steal the PGA Tour

There were 15 Australian's in the Buick Invitational this weekend with Matt Jones finishing the best of the Aussies in the event won by Nick Watney. Mathew Goggin gave his thoughts on Australia's grand plan during an interview this weekend at the Buick Invitational.

“When Greg Norman was playing there were only four or five Australians playing, but he inspired a whole generation, and we're coming through now,” Goggin said. “We're going to try to get more Australians on the tour and then outnumber the Americans so we can invite the tour to move to Australia. That's the plan.”

Katherine Hull wins Ladies Masters

If there was any doubts as to who is Australia's hottest golfing property at the moment, they have all disappeared with Katherine Hull winning the ANZ Ladies Masters. An awesome hat-trick of birdies through holes 12 - 14 blew her opponents away in a strong, controlled 4 days of golf.

After an amazing season on the US Tour last year (including winning the Canadian Open) Hull has captured one of Australia's greatest women's golf titles and will now almost certainly slip into the world's top 20 golfers. She will again be hard to beat at this week's Women's Australian Open at The Metropolitan in Melbourne.

Related Stories:
ANZ Ladies Masters 2009
Australian Women's Golf 2009
2008 LPGA Tour wrap

ANZ Ladies Masters Live Leaderboard

Here's the ANZ Ladies Masters Live Leaderboard for those who are looking for their scoring "internet style".

Golf Course Quiz #1

Here's the first in a series of Aussie Golfer golf course quizzes. It's an aerial shot of a golf course from googlemaps. But which one? I've added some hole numbers to help. Click the image to get a larger view.

I'm sure someone will answer this one pretty easily, so don't look in the comments section under this post unless you want to know the answer!

ANZ Ladies Masters 2009

The 2009 ANZ Ladies Masters tees off tomorrow at the superb Royal Pines Resort. Last years winner Lisa Hall is back to defend her title but she's got some tough opposition in a stellar field.

World number 2, Yani Tseng is here and it will be no suprise to see Frenchwomen, Gwladys Nocera near the top of the leaderboard after her 6-shot win at last week's New Zealand Open. If you can read French, check out Gwladys Nocera's blog!

Karrie Webb's there to take out her 7th Ladies Masters but standing in the way may be Katherine Hull. She's heading in the right direction to soon become our country's top female golfer and after some good form over the past two weeks Katherine may take out her first professional victory on home soil.

Channel 10 have live coverage of the ANZ Ladies Masters from 12 - 5pm on Saturday and Sunday.

Related Story:
Australian Women's Golf 2009

Weeks & Macklin Long Drive Invitational

Australian Long Drive Champion Matt McDonald (pictured) has organised the largest long driving event in Australia, the Weeks & Macklin Long Drive Invitational competition. It will be held this Sunday at South Lakes Golf Course, Goolwa, SA.

The long hitting left-hander has gathered the biggest hitters in Australia. Four of the 5 biggest ever will be at the event including Australian record holder Mark "Shrek" Bylsma who knocked a 401.1m drive in competition. Many attending have competed at the franchised World Long Driving Championships in Las Vegas and will be competing for a total purse of $6400.

• Ball speed in excess of 200mph (320k’s) Open hitters will carry the ball as far as 350 metres in favourable conditions, using drivers as low as 4 deg in loft (average putter around 5 deg) and shafts up to XXXX flex. More than enough speed is created to blast a ball through ¾ inch plywood or a watermelon.
• In past years competitors have recorded hits over 380 metres with averages over 360 metres.
• A special grid has been developed for the hitters from in front of the club house down the 13^th fairway. It has turned the 13^th hole which normally plays at around 485 metres into a 565 metre monster!
  

Entry for spectators is free and refreshments will be available from the club house. Aussie Golfer has heard the temperature may get below 30 degrees for the first time in weeks on Sunday morning and the surf is always pretty good down there. Go down, watch how far some people can hit it and take in a few sights around the mouth of the Murray. South Lakes Golf Course is a great little track.

Bits and pieces

Here's a few bits and pieces that have caught my eye over the past week or so:

Australian cricket legend Dean Jones is going to attempt to qualify for the seniors tours when he turns 50 in March 2011. According to Peter Stone's article last week:

A three-handicapper, Jones has been invited to play in the Victorian PGA championship at the Sanctuary Lakes course in Melbourne next month - and he'll maybe play a few other lesser events this year. "I see it as a great learning curve for a couple of years' time," he says.

Speaking of cricket, Greg "Fat Cat" Ritchie (or Mahatma Cote if you choose) has recently married Australian women's golf star Rachel Hetherington. After being booted from the Channel 9 cricket commentary team a few years ago tried his hand at golf commentary. He now has many more golf tournaments to attend.

And speaking of marriage, up and coming Australian golfing star Sarah Jane Kenyon is now Sarah Jane Smith.

Ogilvy on American Football

Aussie Golfer cringed and laughed several times as I read this article on the PGATour website about Geoff Ogilvy and American football. Hey, I like the game too but I couldn't help but feel Geoff was almost pressured into liking it for this interview.

It's all summed up with his last comment:

"I am learning to love American football and it will grow," Ogilvy said. "But it's like a Canadian with hockey. I will always love Australian Rules Football the most."

It's weird hearing someone who doesn't know the game very well describe Aussie Rules and it is always compared to a thousand other sports. It'd be the same for golf I'd imagine:

"Well, there's a set of sticks and you hit this ball with them, a bit like hockey. The idea is to get the ball in the hole, a bit like snooker but the hole is a long way away and you have to walk around after it."

I wouldn't be rushing to the sport based on something like that.

Fun golf terms

Aussie Golfer has had numerous requests for these funny golfing terms to be published again. Rather than supply the links to the two old posts I thought I'd post them all together.

An Alan Bond - a nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - looked straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needed one more revolution
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslet - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
An Amelia Earheart - didn't make it over the water
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Pauline Hanson - a long way right
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Nirvana - a hole in one
An Eardrum - no good under pressure
A Bill Clinton - a bad lie
A Nullarbor - a bloody long drive
Best mate's wife - out of bounds
A John Lennon - should never have left the house
A Pringle - a nice chip
A Liberace - playing down a different hole
Half a cake - a big slice ("that's not a slice.....that's half a damn cake!")
A Jimi Hendrix - got really high and didn't go very long
A Crab - having to come out sideways
Baghdad - GUR